The title of this post has been sitting in my queue for sometime now. When Mr. Lulu and I announced that we were having our Raptor, it was the most common thing I think we heard.
Really? You are going to say that to someone who just announced they are having a baby that (not to put out too much personal information out there) but we tried for years and had difficulty conceiving and were about to give up??? REALLY???
The thing is, I thought as time progressed, that people would stop saying that sort of thing. But they haven’t. “It will only get worse” and “enjoy it now while you can” are the two things that make me irrationally angry. It’s almost like the smell of bananas or bbq, they all make me sick.
Mr. Lulu and I are celebrating our 10th anniversary this year. It’s really exciting. And we were going to have a huge fete in celebration but the Raptor will be here just a month prior and there’s something about sewing a new dress (the plan was to buy some beautiful brown shantung silk) with a maternity panel in it that seemed like a waste of time and money. Besides, I think nothing could punctuate our 10 years of marital
bliss commitment better than having a long hoped for child.
Having a baby is not something that we jumped into blindly. We are lucky to be surrounded by a loving community where many were already blessed by the stork. We are also very lucky that we like to
argue discuss our ideas of child rearing (on a daily basis). This includes everything from the mundane to the hopeful. But this also means that we are not ignorant to what is to come. Exhaustion, miscommunication, frustrations, and irritability are all things that we expect to happen. We aren’t playing house. We are two grown adults with established careers, who own our own home, who are very excited to add a third party to this situation.
The comments of what we should be doing with our time, energy, and money pre-Raptor are old and unnecessary. While I greatly appreciate people’s thoughts and concerns, I do not need people to tell me my life is over. My life is not over. My life is just changing.
So please, the next time you feel the need to comment on someone’s choice of becoming a parent, or anything tangentially related, think twice. Unless they ask for your advice or thoughts, keep your mouth shut, because next time, “it might only get worse” and you won’t “enjoy it” when you speak to me.